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The possibility of a blank canvas

When I was gifted my first bullet journal by my now husband Michael, my immediate response as I flipped through a book filled with blank pages... was 'no fucking way.' I felt so much resistance + fear and like there would never be a way that I could fill this book with doodles and shapes that actually look good together. My perfectionist mindset and fear-filled thoughts (thoughts like: "why even start? it's not like you'll be good at this...") took the driver's seat and it took me months before I began to explore my bullet journal.


Slowly, I let myself be curious about the possibility that was held in those daunting, blank pages. I began to pour energy into creating patterns and shapes that made me feel something. I looked forward to every Sunday night when I met those blank pages again. I discovered my flow that only was possible by approaching the blank canvas from a place of curiosity.


Fast forward 2 years later, now as a professional artist, there is something really special about the first ~2 hours of any project. I doodle, I sketch, I imagine, I explore all possibilities of colors, shapes and textures that will make you feel something. I gaze at a blank piece of paper imagining a future filled with color.


The blank canvas still + will always elicit a feeling of fear. Like one of my favorite creators Elizabeth Gilbert says, I let fear come along for the creative ride and I never, ever let her take the drivers seat.


Fear will always be a part of the creative process and we can use her as an avenue to create magical things out of absolutely nothing.


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